I'm Back...Almost

My apologies for not posting very much the past three weeks. I was in Utah for eight days, then home for a few days, then had company for four days, then grandkids for a couple of days, and then company again last night and this morning. That's just way more activity than my old bones (not to mention my immune system) can handle. And on top of all that, I've been fighting a cold.

Respiratory ailments and MCS are just not a good combination. And the visitors we had were all great about not using anything scented, but having extra people in the house always brings in more of the outside world, and that means more MCS symptoms (headaches, fatigue, fibromyalgia). It's a vicious circle, isn't it?

So I'm back to R & I (rest and isolation) to try to recover my wits (what's left of them). And I promise...more blogging...my favorite R & I activity.

Winter in Montana

The scene outside my office window as I closed the blinds last night was one painted in shades of gray and muted white, the dark trees covered with snow and the distant snowy hills just a white line against the graying sky. But like one of those old hand-tinted black and white photographs, a swath of pale pink colored the sky just above the hills. Quiet and surreal, I felt like I was part of a piece of artwork hanging on the wall in a great gallary, and indeed, I suppose I was.

Driving north from Utah to my home in Montana on Friday, I could see the snow clouds firmly sitting at ground level as I approached the Idaho/Montana border. By the time I came to the little town of Spencer, Idaho, I was engulfed in blowing white. But it was not really sticking to the roadway, and there was hardly another car anywhere to be seen (the other drivers having actually checked the weather forecast before setting out), so I just slowed down (careful not to use my brakes) and continued on my way. The audio book I had rented the week before continued to play (a new Anne Tyler book, Digging to America), and, as stopping really wasn't an option, I just kept going, over Monida pass and on into Montana.

When I pulled over to get gas and a chocolate bar in the little town of Lima, Montana, a fellow pulled in behind me. As we both got out of our vehicles, he called to me, "Hey, that Monida pass was really something, wasn't it?"

"Oh, I've driven it when it was much worse," I replied. "At least today the road wasn't snow packed and icy."

"Well, bless you," he called back.

It is not unusual for someone to follow another's tail lights in a storm. I have done it many times myself when I have been unfamiliar with the way. But this is the second time in the past year that I have had someone follow me through a storm on this same stretch of road.

I feel unsafe in so many places--church, the grocery store, a symphony concert--but I never for a moment felt unsafe driving home through that blizzard on Friday afternoon. I think it is the known vs the unknown, and solitude vs a crowd, that makes the difference. I know that road, having driven it so many times in so many varying conditions, but I never know what I will confront when I walk into church or a supermarket. And I was virtually alone on that road (or thought I was), the master of my own fate so to speak, while in a crowd I am at the mercy of strangers, or even people I know, who pose a threat by their perfumed proximity.

In solitude and the familiar there is peace. It's good to be home.

Off to Salt Lake...

Well, we're off to Salt Lake City tomorrow for the semi-annual general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons). Attending the actual conference session is problematic, but at least the staff and volunteers at the Conference Center are fragrance-free. I'm usually safe in a corner of one of the public areas, even if I can't stay in the auditorium itself. It's worth being there just for the music--gotta love that Mormon Tabernacle Choir. After the morning session on Sunday, Randl will head back home with friends and I will spend a few days with our middle daughter and husband and son in Provo, Utah. I'll also see my sister while there and an old friend from Washington who will be in the area as well. With the isolation that comes with MCS, it will be nice to make live connections with people who are important in my life.

But before I forget, I just have to pass on a little tidbit of information about the "greatest soap on earth." Well, I think it's the greatest anyway, and I've converted a good friend here too, who splits a wholesale order with me every six months or so. Botanie soap (www.botoniesoap.com) is made by a small company in Missoula, Montana, and is available in several natural fragrances as well as no-fragrance-added. It has an olive oil base and just feels yummy on your skin. And it actually cleans, even my four-year-old grandson's grimy fingers after he's been digging in the dirt. Best of all, even Randl likes it, so we don't have to have two separate bars of soap in the shower.

Cheers to all. Have a great fall weekend!

Sisterhood

Yesterday morning my daughter-in-law hosted a "jewelry party" at her house. The jewelry was nice (and of course I ordered a few pieces), but even more important to me was the opportunity to just sit and talk with other women. It was a small group, but they all knew I would be there so had come fragrance free. It felt good just to relax and enjoy the company of others.

Then last night I watched a broadcast from Salt Lake City of the general Relief Society (the women's organization) of the LDS Church. This program is held twice each year and is broadcast to LDS church buildings throughout the world, as well as over BYU-TV (which we get via Directv). The first speaker was Julie Beck, worldwide president of the organization. She spoke about the history of the Relief Society, which originated in 1842 in Nauvoo, Illinois, and she encouraged the sisters (as R.S. members call themselves) to renew their commitment to each other and the organization, caring for each other and watching over each other.

Up until a few months ago, I had been an active member of the Relief Society for close to forty years, serving twice as president of a local group and numerous other times as a counselor or teacher. I have stood in front of other women on so many occasions to praise the goodness of Relief Society and encourage participation in acts of service and compassion to each other. And I have witnessed true charity in the interactions of women who truly see and treat each other as beloved sisters.

The combination yesterday of being with a small group of women in the morning and then hearing the words of Julie Beck concerning Relief Society last night brought home to me how much I really miss sisterhood. We all suffer losses in our lives for which we must grieve and then move on, hopefully filling the gap with something else of value. But I am not sure how to fill this gap in my life. In moments of selfishness and self-pity, I rail at the women in my own local group who refuse to change their behavior so that I can participate. Yet, such wallowing is so unproductive. I can't change the behavior of other women, and railing on them to myself only makes me more angry. And I don't want to become just an angry old woman.

One place I still feel sisterhood is through online blogs. There are some wonderful LDS group blogs that reach out to women, such as www.feministmormonhousewives.org , http://segulah.org/blog and http://the-exponent.com (my favorite). Blogs cannot replace the intimacy we get associating in person with other women, but they do offer a free exchange of feelings and ideas that helps to fill the gap.

Perhaps my greatest resource for sisterhood is with my own daughters and daughter-in-law, four truly amazing women who reach out to me on an almost daily basis. I love them and really appreciate them, but it is unfair and unrealistic to expect them to fulfill the bulk of my social and emotional needs.

So I continue to seek new ways to conpensate for the loss of sisterhood I feel in the isolation of chemical sensitivity. Even introverts need a little socializing once in a while.

Important Research into Chemical Injury

Okay. I just typed a whole new post and then lost it. But it's REALLY important. Following are links to two articles about new research into the effects of chemicals in our environment on children and adults.

The first one offers evidence to substantiate the claim that chemicals cause damage to children, resulting in behavior and other health problems. Not that this is any news to any mother who has ever given her two-year-old a bowl of Fruit Loops, but it's nice to have some validation from the experts.

The second link is to an article summarizing new research reported in medical journals this week about the link between the chemical found in plastic containers with heart disease, diabetes and liver illnesses in adults. The FDA is still considering whether to ban this chemical (the chemical companies are very powerful), but some manufacturers have already voluntarily stopped using it. With this new information, we can hope that more will follow suit.

These would be good articles to forward to anyone who has doubted the validity of chemical injury. The information is more than a little scary.

http://www.nwcn.com/health/stories/NW_091608ENVB_chemical_neurological_disorder_TP.8355eceb.html

http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/heart/2008/09/16/heart-disease-diabetes-linked-to-chemical-in-plastics.html

WalMart

My family knows that I am no fan of WalMart, for many reasons, not the least of which being that it just isn't a safe place for me to go (too many people, too many chemicals). However, one of my grandsons saw a toy there that he really wants for his birthday next week, so yesterday morning I ventured into their aisles.

Also, I thought it might be a good idea to look at the personal care products at WalMart to back up the claim I made in a document I sent to local church leaders last week, stating that unscented products are readily available locally. I made the claim based on what is available at Safeway and the Real Food Market, but knowing that many church members shop at WalMart, I thought it wise to check out their offerings as well.

I am happy to report that WalMart carries a wide array of unscented personal care products. One of the particular questions I get from people is what hand lotions to use. After all, no one could realistically expect a woman to go sans lotion after washing her hands in a public (or church) rest room. What I found at WalMart was that Lubriderm, Eucerin, Aveeno and Equate (WalMart's house brand) all have unscented versions of their hand and body lotions. And both Suave (the cheap brand) and Salon Grafix (a more expensive brand) produce unscented versions of their hair sprays.

By the time I wrote down all the names of all these products, I realized I was going to be late for a lunch date with one of my grandsons, so I didn't get to look at shampoo, rinse and hair gel, but I am hopeful that unscented versions of these products are also on the shelves at WalMart. And I know they are on the shelves at Safeway, so I don't think I'm guilty of making any false claims.

Of course, just because these products are unscented doesn't mean they are void of any toxic chemicals or safe for me to use myself, and I would still like to steer people in the direction of the more natural products found at the Real Food Market (a shameless plug for my favorite place to shop). However, I see a switch to any unscented products by church members as a huge concession to the needs of the chemically sensitive, and I will gladly accept such an offering with the grace it is given.

(My husband suggested that we just place bottles of unscented lotion in all the church restrooms. Would it be sexist to only put it in the women's? Do men, other than my husband, use hand lotion?)

One Step Closer to a Fragrance-free Building

Well, I had quite the experience this past Sunday evening. Our local church leadership (LDS stake presidency, bishops and branch presidents) met to discuss the proposed goal of designating our local church buildings as fragrance-free. Since I cannot safely go into the building, I was asked to give a 15-minute presentation via speaker phone. That isn't very much time, so I had to plan ahead and choose my words wisely. I focused on the stages of chemical sensitivity (from tolerance to permanent tissue damage), common symptoms of these different stages and then my own experience with stage 3 MCS and the physical reactions I have had in our church buildings. I also gave a brief overview of the symptoms other people in our congregations have reported having in our buildings. (We have a list of 15 people who have complained about some degree of chemical sensitivity they have had at church.)

There was an overwhelming vote of support among these leaders for pushing ahead with the fragrance-free goal in the four church-owned buildings and also in the two small rented facilities. This same group will meet again in about two weeks to finalize plans for implementation, i.e. educating members, putting signs on doors, deciding where to seat people who come fragranced unknowingly (visitors), etc.

This is a huge step for this area. As many of you know, I quit attending church meetings here entirely over six months ago. Since then, my husband (who is a member of the stake presidency) has made a great effort to educate people and enlist support for creating a safer environment (i.e. fragrance-free) in our buildings. I do not like bringing attention to myself, and would willingly have just faded away into inactivity indefinitely, but he was not willing to let it slide by.

I am realistic enough to know that this won't happen overnight. People don't willingly change their behavior without some struggle. But getting the leaders on board is a huge step. My sincere hope is that church members will realize the importance of reaching out in compassion to fellow members with special needs and will also come to understand that this creates a safer environment for everyone.